did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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