Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
