there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
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