And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Randomize
