your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I think I am morally bankrupt
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Randomize
