I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
