Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
