I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
