apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Randomize
