Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
