I heard we made out
Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize