hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Randomize
