Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize