Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
