There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Randomize
