It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
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