girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
