having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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