My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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