There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Randomize
