There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
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