im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Randomize
