Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
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