I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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