Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
