I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Randomize
