its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
