yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
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