Barsexuality is the new black.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
