god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Randomize