i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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