I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Randomize
