dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Randomize
