Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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