I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize