someone threw a dead crab at me
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
