No, drunk sperm still make babies.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
