At least make sure they are 18
Why
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
