i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
