I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Randomize
