It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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