I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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