i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Who wears a wallet chain?!
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
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