Umm I'm too high to move.
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
just tell him i said nine months
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
