I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
