Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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