Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
someone owes me an orgasm
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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