I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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