So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Randomize
