She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize