ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
