i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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