why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
