It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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