it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
