I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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