JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize
