its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
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