Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Randomize
