When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Randomize
