some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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