Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
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