I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
